31 Aug 2009

Decode..

This.. has.. got.. to... be.. the.. song.. of.. the.. day..

i just feel like certain people can't read me today.. well.. my thoughts..
i just feel a little more alone again.. like for the past few weeks; i felt a lil less alone.. and now it's gone back to me feeling alone... in my little la la land.. and i just wanna get lost in it again...
it makes me feel a little more sane..

' im screaming out i love you so; but my thoughts you can't decode'

okay so the love thing.. isn't love... but MY THOUGHTS YOU CAN'T DECODE!

ARGH..
why does life have to get hard all of a sudden.. when things start sailing smooth..

this is why i dont believe in fairytales anymore... :(


well......

i wanna do a 21 questions post thing.. so gimmie some questions to answer :D x

30 Aug 2009

you make me wanna lala..

'You make me wanna lala.. In the kitchen; On the floor; I'll be your french maid; When you need me at the door; I'm like an alley cat, Drink the milk up I want more; You make me wanna, you make me wanna... SCREAM!'

I literally don't get the male species anymore..
they actually make me wanna scream, very very very loud, worse then the post yesterday.. :O :O
like; i get that its gunna be hard and everything, but please dont distance yourself from me now..
it makes everything harder and more confusing, when you say sweet things... throws me right through this massive loop.. and I told a good friend too blog; and she did, so i took my own advice.. and i'm just confused.. and feel like... confused and hurt, there are SERIOUSLY too many thoughts going through my head, and it's like ARGH!
and like, when you really like someone, isit meant to be so weird... i've never liked liked anyone before, that i kinda didnt force myself to like... if that makes sense...

anyway... i think im gunna post another blog today after i go nottinghill... because well; too many thoughts to little time... and people try to tell me i dont live in a tv show... my live is like gossipgirl/the oc on LOOP!



29 Aug 2009

.................

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
that is all

28 Aug 2009

things i'll never say

have you ever experienced a moment; where, you need to say something, but it just doesn't wanna come out..?
I hate that feeling, like you know your just meant to come out and say it, but you don't because your just, well, too scared of the outcome..

or when you have that bad feeling in your stomach, and you know something bad's going to happen but you just don't know what, even though you have a feeling what it might invovle, you never know how to explain that feeling to people, it really sucks, because then you cant ever tell anyone how you feel.. and then it just eats at you.. like... and then you get major sad, and noone can help... MAN.. it sucks.. :(

I dont even wanna... just.. my stomachs all knoty .. and i dont like this feeling.. and i thought about this when this song was playing, cuz its like the title of the song... and i wanna be saying things.. but i know i'll never say them..

'it don't do me any good.. it's just a waste of time.. what use is it to you, what's on my mind..'

Anna Lucinda

27 Aug 2009

This Is Real.. This Is Me..

All I can remember is; I've been a drama queen since I could speak, not in the bad sense.. I just love to act; and sometimes that can take me into another place right?
Well here is the place you can find out EVERY antic I get up to..

First.. here's a thought =]

'Some might say as a teenage girl growing up; everything is ours for the taking, but sooner or later we have to choose, we don't choose to choose; choosing chooses you.. and when we choose we are left with our choice; noone said choosing would be easy, but not choosing; is less easy or something' - a quote from summer roberts


i agree; i mean... Your teenage years are the hardest I believe; because you'll never know how you'll survive the next day, drama's just pop out of the blue right?

Or is it that it's just a fantasy in my mind? or isit a state of reality too? Or maybe it's just a dream that we're all living, and nobody's brave enough to wake up and find out the truth..

Well if you find out.. please make sure you'll send me the memo =]

'never neverland'

I've decided to name each blog after a song; however I feel at the moment I write the blog.

Well at the moment; I'm listening to never neverneverland, which is being sung by charlotte wakefield, and I read the lyrics, and I fell in love with them.

I always used to love Peter pan, like the whole.. never never land concept, I used to wish that one day; he'd come to my room and tap on my window and take me with him, and then I'd be like Wendy, but I would have stayed...

'And though life is never easy as we as children read in the books
Where fairy dust could just fly you so far away
All I ask is that you leave me my imagination
So I can pretend I'm flying away
I'm flying away
And that is where I stay
Right there in Never Neverland'

I still wish I could just get some fairy dust, and fly away, when everythings just to hard; I still believe Peter's out there sometimes..
And actually.. I've always wanted to see that statue of Peter Pan, In Kensington Gardens, because that place makes me feel peaceful, I've only been there when I was a PROPER baby, but I can look at that picture, and I feel calm, I've just never had the perfect time to well, go back there... or too neverneverland...

annalucinda <3